Friday, July 29, 2011

Storytime, boys and girls

Did I ever tell you the story of what happened in math class in the 6th grade? No? Well, there’s probably a reason- you see I didn’t pay much attention in math class in 6th grade. Now my mother was the math coordinator for the 5 counties that surrounded mine. Basically her job was to make sure that all of the teachers in each grade taught the same thing. She made sure that all of the first grade teachers were on the same page as far as curriculum went, etc, etc. This went on all the way through high school, my friends, so as you can imagine, I really dreaded math class because my mother knew ALL of the math teachers. Every last one of them. This included my 6th grade teacher, we’ll call her Mrs. F (because had she treated me fairly, that’s the grade I earned in 6th grade. But somehow I squeaked by with a B.)

Now one night I was doing what all responsible 6th graders do- picking out my outfit for the next day of school- when the phone rang. All I barely overheard was my mother’s end of the conversation, which consisted of a lot of “uh-huh”s and “I see”s. With the click of the receiver, I heard that shrill mother voice that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up shout out “Kriiiiissssssttttttin”. Uh-oh. When she says it like that, it’s trouble for sure. I racked my brain trying to think of what I had done to earn that tone, and I squeaked out “yyyyyes?” (punctuated by the crack in my voice that could only be rivaled by one of my prepubescent male classmates.)

Mrs. F knew my mother. Naturally. And Mrs. F had just called my mother to inform her that I had neglected to turn in the last 16 homework assignments. Which meant I probably hadn’t quite learned the lessons she was attempting to cram into my tiny little adolescent brain. Which also meant that I was a shoe-in to fail the upcoming test we had. And that would be a disgrace to the regional coordinator of math curriculum, now wouldn’t it? At least that’s what I got out of the “discussion” that followed this little phone call. (As you can imagine, that “discussion” was a little one-sided, so I use the term very loosely.)

“WHAT” my mother demanded “have you been doing that is so much more important than your schoolwork?”

Oh she was not happy with the answer. You see, I had picked up a little hobby along the way. I was hand-crafting earrings and selling them at school. I had no time for homework! I had a business to run! And when all the cool kids had my earrings, I turned to, what else, tie-dyeing t-shirts! I was easily the most wealthy 6th grader at that point in the school year (later I was bumped from my top spot on the earnings list by the kid who sold pages straight out of his father’s porn mag collection. But that’s not really a part of this story.)

So it should come as no surprise to those who have known me since, oh say middle school, that I have had a knack for creating things. That little habit of mine has continued, and evolved through the years. I have done some scrapbooking, some wreath-making, some card-making, some sewing, embroidery, painting (that didn’t generally end well, btw) just to name a few. And you know I once saw a quote that said something to the effect of “whatever you do while you are procrastinating is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life.” I assume that statement was made before the inception of Facebook or Pinterest. That quote, though, reminds me of the 6th grade. Now I’ve long outgrown the paper mache earrings and tie dye, and thank goodness fashion has mostly outgrown it too. But I have not outgrown the crafting.

But what to do with all of these crafts? I mean, my house is only so big. Well friends, I’m taking this show on the road! This fall, I can be found at a number of craft fairs, where I will be featuring my lovely crafts. I’ll try to keep you updated on where I will be and when, so one of you can drop by and see my little booth! In the meantime, you can check my etsy shop at . I don’t have much out there at the moment, because I’m gearing up for my fall tour. But I expect that I’ll be on etsy more through the winter months, so when you’re cold and bored, look me up!

This, by the way, should sufficiently answer the question of “what are you doing all those times you’re not blogging”. Just in case any of you were thinking of asking. That, my friends, is both the story of 6th grade math class, and how I started my own business.

Oh and you know how all of our childhood stories ended with "and they all lived happily ever after"?  Well I've started ending Cameron's bedtime stories like this: "then Cameron cleaned his room, got Mommy her drink, and went straight to sleep like a good little boy."  I'm hoping it's as catchy and motivational as the happily-ever-after thing. 


1 comment:

Shelby said...

He is just precious!! AND precious party.. glad to see you blogging.. again. I'm so behind! :)